Dear Father,
I know that you have addressed a problem my dear sister and I seem to have. You have said often that we have not put our brains to good use, and even provided excellent examples of occasions where we have blundered hopelessly, and at the expense of others. I am writing this letter in the hope that I may convince you otherwise, and intend to address several situations that you have brought to my attention. As they say in detective novels, all is not as it seems.
I humbly apologize for causing such infernal and unceasing aggravation on your part. I own but two pairs of blue jeans, and they are costly. I surmised yesterday that using pants that were ripped and bought for only seven dollars on clearance, however recently, would bring less retribution than my more expensive clothing. I suppose, in retrospect, that sweatpants, while less comfortable in the heat of the day, would have been a wiser choice for lessening the aggravation of my beloved and much-tried father, whose patience is not limitless.
I also find the arrangement of purchasing my own clothes to completely acceptable. In fact, I had assumed until now that as soon as I find employment, I would be left to my own devices in this matter. I would be happy to use my own income to provide for myself, as that will be what I am expected to do in the future as an adult.
I would also humbly beg your pardon for situation involving not one, but several soiled blankets that my sister and I had assumed needed washing. In the past, when doing a clean sweep of the house, we had picked up blankets that our dogs had lain on and added them to the considerable pile of dirtied laundry in the hall, generally because laundry was already being tended to in the washer, and we dared not disturb its sacred cycle. Such was the case with one soiled red blanket that had been taken out of doors a week or so previously by myself.
Mother did suggest that I add this, and several other blankets, to a hamper until such a time as the more prioritized laundry had been tended to. At such a time, I would then be free to wash these articles. I can assure you, however, that I have maintained every intention of tending these tedious insulators in due course. (In fact, I must admit that I had thought my good mother had already done so, for though I wish to lighten her burden, she does take on so much voluntarily before one can jump in to stop her.)
I do apologize also for myself and my sister’s apparent annoyance at your correction. We try our best to maintain looks of appropriate abashedness at all times, or at least vaguely blank expressions. You see, with all the above mentioned thoughts and responses galloping through our heads, we find it difficult to accept criticism and wish only to explain ourselves. However, we often fear that doing so, even in the most respectful way, would only increase your anger. We fear for your health as well; at your (forgive me) somewhat advanced age, getting so wound up could result in dire consequences, and we would rather have you alive and shouting, than quite dead and silent.
I sincerely hope that a better mode of communication of our reasoning can be established. However, in all my sixteen years one has not been reached, so my hopes are not high. I can only plod along as best I can, do what is asked of me, and hope—pray—that I have done it in a manner that pleases you and my dear mother.
Until you discover my next fault or stumble upon some new scrape of mine, please consider me to be, my dear father, very sincerely yours.
Sarah
A note to my beloved daughters.
Ladies,
The afore mentioned email has much merit. I admit I struggle desperatly to control my ill temper. When it flares I breathe fire and brimstone to my hapless damsels. However, in my own defense the rants are far fewer and less severe then in years past.
One point of order I would like you to reconsider. I do not think nor have I ever entertained the notion that you or your darling sister are in any way stupid or lacking in intellectual prowess. You both are very bright. Ask anyone, I implore you, ask!
I apologize for exasperating you with my annoyance at what I perceive as tasks that are poorly executed or entirely left undone. If my attitude effuses contempt for you then I am truly sorry. My highest hope is to build you up and not destroy you. My loathing is certainly not for you but for a shoddy effort. I recognize I too make mistakes and at times consequence is a mighty antagonist. I see now that I should extend more grace and curb my roaring ire.
Expectations for you both are high because I see an abundance of talent and intelligence that springs from within you dear daughters. Gifts from our heavenly Father. However, long experience has taught me, excellence without proportional self discipline is a vapor. Guidance while in one's formative years to anyone is a treasure. I received too little when I was young. As a result my foundation is cracked. However, your foundations were laid with a cornerstone of love and admiration.
Finally, I love you ladies with such deep affection that mere words clank like a cracked bell. My passion for your dreams and the impact you will leave is boundless.
Your ever faithful,
Grumpy Daddy
