Five Things I Hate About Fatherhood!

I like being Dad and love my kids. But, you know what? There are five things I hate about fatherhood!

1. Gross, elementary aged kids with unwiped runny noses. Especially noses with crusty, dehydrated boogers pasted to their nostrils and upper lips, who happen to come to my kids sleepover. Please, people chisel that mess off in the driveway before you let them into my house. As an aside, I don't like power washing kids faces either.

2. Texting. Yes, I know texting is a useful feature for my phone. In general. But, when my kid uses text spell to ask an intricate three part question, I punch in, two of my favorite letters "n" and "o." Here's why... I kinda like seeing fully spelled words when I read stuff. I don't care if they are misspelled words. I can figure those out. I'm a great misspeller of many famous words myself. But, when I have to go to the online texting glossary to find the definition to "omg I lol every time  my bff GL poots! ttyl ; )" It just makes me grumpy.

3. Putting money into the "Pout Pot" also known as the complaining jar. Everyone complains. We all have days were we just get fed up with stupidity. I think we can agree it's okay to complain about the big things. But, when there is a whiney voice lamenting how bored they are. (the kids) Or, yelling at slower traffic in the left lane. (umm, me) Followed by a small chorus singing, "You gotta  drop a quarter in the 'Pout Pot' Daddy!" I don't like it.

4. Going on a safari for the lost TV remote. I know what Stanley learned during his epic expedition to find Dr. Livingstone in the heart of Africa. I relive his trials all too frequently, hunting for that most elusive of quarry the lost TV remote. Names shall not be given here, but one time it was found in the fridge. On the other hand, like Stanley, when he finds Dr. Livingstone and the arduous trek is done, I am filled with overwhelming joy when the remote is finally found on Game Day.

5. Underwear left in wrong-side out jeans. Enough said. Just so you know I don't mind taking my turn doing laundry. I'm a good folder. Recently, however,  I've instituted a wash as is policy, and yes people, I'm gonna laugh at you when there are two pairs of underwear left in one pair of wrong-side out jeans.