Jesus dramatically met Saul and asked a question that brought into focus a mistaken life and ministry with a simple observation. He said, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads." Now, I've read this passage many times but I had not taken notice of Jesus' poignant conclusion of Saul.
A goad was a sharp stick a farmer used to move his livestock along the road or to new pasture. I wonder if Saul was fully aware that he was bucking God's will by persecuting Christians. He had them thrown into prison, he beat them and even murdered them.
I imagined when Saul held the coats of his friends, as they stoned Stephen, he felt he was in the right. All his life up until his road trip to Damascus he served the Lord flawlessly. Maybe Saul had a crisis of trust. Should he trust the familiar, his religious training, or the unfamiliar, a call to go to the Gentiles? Which led me to think, do I behave the same as Saul? Do I buck God's goads too?
Then, I thought about my daughter's 4H goat, Comet. We take Comet for a walk every day. Goats are very tough and stubborn. In his pen he is sweet as pie but he's a show goat and has to be trained. So, we put a training collar on him to lead and brace him. The collar is like a goad and I've got to tell you from the first day we took him out he was desperate to get away. He kicks and butts and bites and digs his heels in like he's being lead to his doom. He has a hard time on his walks because he kicks against the goads.I'm like that. God sees the big picture, I don't. So, I kick against His goads. But, God wants me in the center of his will. Maybe, before I fight against something new I should stop, be still, be quiet and listen. He knows I want to be a good husband and father. He may share a whole new perspective with me and further my walk with him.
